Wednesday, 28 September 2011


Look, this is nothing to do with me. I'm just telling you about it because it's something different. The professional-looking poster was designed by a young woman called Esme who is also helping organise the event and if she organises as well as she designs posters it'll be pretty damn good.

But I'm not going.

Why should I? 

For a start it's aimed at women. Of which I'm not and have never wanted to be either. If it was a book/DVD/CD collectors sale I'd be there like a shot. But it isn't. It's a fashion show. Which brings me to my second reason. I have no interest in fashion whatsoever. I'm not interested in men's fashion so I'm most certainly, most emphatically, not interested in women's fashion. At all. Ever.

Forget it.

Susan, of course, has been trying to convince me to attend. Her arguments run roughly as follows.

It's a fund-raising event for Animal Krackers. You have to support it.

No I don't. I do plenty of work for AK. It's only two hours since I took a feral female to the vets for neutering. I took a cat as well, ho ho ho.
We need all the help we can get.

Tough. Your problem, not mine.

It'll be a lot of fun.

Your fun, not my idea of fun.

There'll be a lot of women there.

That much is obvious. And why is my wife telling me this anyway?

Listen, I know this is probably irrelevant because you don't have a sexist, lascivious, dirty-old-man bone in your body-  This is true- but some of the models are attractive women who'll be wearing low-cut dresses and-

Get thee behind me, Sataness. I'm still not... well, it's possible I should help out...I might be going to the pub.... I suppose I could be the official photographer for the event.

(I might have imagined this dialogue between Susan and myself. Then again...)

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