PHONE CALLS FROM LILIAN

Saturday:

"Ian, the cat's losing fur."

"Lilian, this is normal. Cats shed fur."

Sunday.

I go up with a cat brush and give the cat a going over and emphasise again that cats shed fur.

"Ian, when are you coming up next?"

Oh oh, warning sign. Lilian is a clinger. This is confirmed by the next door neighbour I meet outside.

Monday.

"Ian, the cat's crying."

"Lilian, it probably wants to be out. Keep it in for at least another two weeks."

Tuesday.

"Ian, how much food should I give the cat?"

I've told her this before. "Lilian, three sachets a day, half in the morning, half at tea time. Always have dried food and fresh water down."

Wednesday.

"Ian, the cat's not eating the food, it's just licking the gravy."

"Lilian, this is normal. Cats often do this. Leave the food down and if it hasn't eaten it by bedtime give it fresh in the morning. Make sure the dried food is there."

Thursday.

"Ian when are you coming up next?"

"Lilian, I'm very busy. I'll try and check the cat out at the weekend." Which I will as I'm going to do this once a week anyway.

Friday.

It's still Thursday but I'm sure she'll ring.